F Doom. And thank you, Independent.

It’s already been established, but MF Doom does not give a shit about San Francisco. In fact, he’s straight out disrespected us. After bailing last minute on his two Independent shows, he goes ahead and bails last minute on his make up Independent show. Ya, he’s stated he’s a villain, but come on now. What you may not know is how much The Independent gives a shit about San Francisco. In an effort to satisfy their patrons, they offer everyone a refund for their tickets and invite them in for a free show with original opener turn headliner, Pigeon John. And Pigeon John killed it. And people partied hard and yelled through the night, “Fuck Doom!” And everyone was happy and not completely screwed. The end.

-Mari Mouse

Sunday! Sunday! Sunday! BAD BRAINS!

Yo. My pal, Jon emailed me this the next morning:

"It was fucking great. I made it there just in time for them to start. They sounded perfect - exactly like they did back in the day...except that HR didn’t really move much. It sucked that it was a short set and they didn’t do an encore...and that they played three reggae songs in a row at the end...didn’t play Big Takeover & Secret 77 – which are probably their encore songs. But they did play, I Against I, Banned in D.C., Sailin’ On, Reignition. The pit was pretty good – at least there was a pit, which is great for SF. Only a couple of assholes and everyone was looking out for each other. My arms are bruised, my neck is sore & I’ve got a nice welt in the back of my head from somebody’s fist. I left soaked from head to toe – for an hour and half I was 17 again. I’m actually debating trying to scalp a ticket for tonight’s show – no encore definitely left me wanting more.

Did you like it? Or were you guys wedged in the back between a bunch of black dickie jacket wearing geriatrics...who either used to like punk and are too old to move, or who have convinced themselves that they used to like punk and went so they can justify having that Bad Brains stickers on the back of their Vespa."

As a matter of fact, ass, yes. Yes, I was in the back with old dudes. And ya know, more power to them, but keep your teeth and stories to yourself.

Show ruled, but I wouldn't have had sex with anyone from the band (which is amazing).

-Mari Mari

Regarding My Interview with The Horrors

The interview was with Faris only, the singer. By the end of this description, we can hate me together.

First, people have told me that he is one ugly dude. I’ve seen him perform before, and I would have agreed with that, but with his hair aside and actually seeing his young, boyish face, um… pretty nice. So I wasn’t prepared; I don’t really put effort into anything. I don’t blame him for not being interested in interviews, he does several of them a day, but he’s young, his band hasn’t even been together for two years, and shit’s going well; hi, I think you could afford to smile. He’s a smug, little punk. The Horrors think they sound like nothing else, aren’t part of a trend, and are going to last. I like them a lot, but they are an amalgamation of the post-punk, 60’s clothing fashion, dark trend happening (which isn’t bad at all).

Faris doesn’t drink alcohol, maybe that’s why we couldn’t relate.

I liked the show. A lot of people said they weren’t feeling any energy. They wear super tight pants. I kept staring at their crotches trying to observe bulges.

And so, this is why we can hate me. I’m so attracted to him now. I hate when bitches like assholes. Star fuckers are annoying too. And wow, I’m that.

Emergency Appendectomy and a Slut’s Dating Tip

I had a strange couple of weeks, but I learned from it, babies.

1. If you have a weird stomach ache and it doesn’t go away after 9 hours and you think a fan is your mom, please go to the ER. And get this, I have done one thing right in my life; I got health insurance a couple months ago. Can you imagine me living in Fucked City? Anyway, staying at the hospital was weird. Everyone is the same there. All we want is to be healthy again and we don’t give a shit about wearing ugly dresses. Most importantly, I was wondering when I’d be able to board my booze train to hell. Follow my procedure:

One week later: Took Saturday night easy, a bottle of sake and split a tall beer in the WC, then headed over to the Kona Club in Piedmont for three pints. Sunday morning, gambled my life away at the Oaks Card Club—just don’t go there. There will never be a reason for it—Manhattan after Manhattan. My innards were hurting. My belly button oozed.

Two weeks later: Wasted at our show to the point I couldn’t remember minute-twenty songs I had been singing for a year. At one point I divulged my sexual blunders and then offered glimpses of my “salami nipples.” You can do it too.

2. I have game galore, so listen. Ladies, get your fuck on. No need to feel guilty, just don’t cheat and keep your shit clean. Dear god, how do you stop someone in the middle of getting it on and say, “By the way, would you mind licking around the sores?” Not cool. Dudes, you need to figure your shit out. I’m the only girl where I work so I’ve heard every boring version of their story. If you like a chick, work for it (and I don’t just mean send a text). If you don’t, can you not waster her (my) time. But here’s my big lesson, do not run your mouth. I insist on telling every intimate detail to anyone. Why? People have too much shit on me. And you people tell me shit, and then I tell everyone. So there.

-The Mari

Songs That Are Cool Right Now (I do this so that you too can be cool, thus adhere, suckas)

The National “Secret Meeting.” So the song is from their previous album, Alligator, and I guess would then be outdated, but I just discovered it (“If I haven’t seen it, it’s new to me,” Charles Manson quote from Family Guy). But they’ve got their new album coming out and they’re all the rave right now.

The Ponys “I Wanna Fuck You.” I’ve been seeing their name all over as well. They’re sound is borrowed but good. This song is also from an older album.

Silver Apples “A Pox on You.” It’s weird, but not out there.

-The Mari

Nellie Furtado, Stop Making Us Uncomfortable. We See Through You. Thanks.

She doesn’t even seem like an artist. She’s wrapping paper on a present. It’s like someone sat her down, showed her how women wiggle in videos and she’s rigid, trying to be sexy while mimicking. That “I’m like a bird” song was annoying as shit, but at least it seemed natural. I’m not anti ditching creativity for making songs that sell, and I think she’s made the “right” move for her entertainment career, but where’s the heart?

Let me add here, I too enjoyed getting my grind on to “Promiscuous” but that’s all Timbaland; he has magic down. He figured out the perfect hit patent that entertains and hooks mainstream listeners, beezeys, and boring guys who like to dance (I revere Timbaland). The song with Nellie, Justin, and Timbaland? It’s a Brangelina. But really, there’s no art to any of it, except Timbaland’s ability to manipulate anything into money. Now, Fergie and Ciara do it well and it seems right. I consider American Idol turds, actors who have money to make them singers, and strippers more satisfying in there supplemented singer manufactings. Dear Nellie, currently, you are the insecure girl at the club fake laughing at jokes you don’t realize but are about you.

(What is she? Puerto Rican?)

-The Mari

Cherish and Obey This List of Righteous Upcoming Shows

The Horrors. May 19. Saturday. Popscene (SF)- a fun spectacle. Super glam, loud, dancey, punk. I saw them at CMJ and Faris (lead singer) grabbed my pal’s head and screamed into it and hit me in the mouth. It ruled.

Black Cobra, Rwake. May 20. Sunday. The Uptown (Oakland) & May 21. Monday. Elbo Room (SF)- scary rock and metal. Ideally, you’d want to see this show in some small, shadey joint where everyone is pushing and sweaty. I bet both bands have badass shirts with crazy art. (I’m going to The Uptown show and hoping for aggressive attendees)

The Sermon. May 25. Friday. Café Du Nord (SF)- first, I dig their name. Solid rock, with a 50’s and punk tone. These local dudes don’t play that often.

Pela. May 31. Thursday. Bottom of the Hill (SF)- refer to my article below. I jock.


Zion I & The Grouch. June 2. Saturday. The Independent (SF)- always fun. Hip hop and flavor. They'll kill it, but at the last SXSW, I saw them play with UGK. The audience was like, "Who are these white dudes?" It was funny (they're not white).

Sleepy Time Gorilla Museum. June 15. Friday. Great American Music Hall (SF)- their shows always sellout. I haven’t seen them, but supposedly it’s an unbelievable show. Dramatic and homemade instruments, their shit is out there (experimental, opera, goth, rock?). It will be an honor to see them.

Buck 65 (Sage Francis, Buddy Wakefield, and Alias). June 19 & 20. Monday & Tuesday. Fillmore (SF)- this is it. While all the dudes rule, Buck… dear god, who is this guy? And what can’t he do (to me)? Rooted in hip hop, storytelling, breathy lyrics, and articulate hands and gestures… so good. I’m going to try and not go both nights (I’m scary).

-The Mari

Shellac and Steve Albini; I’m Trying to be Better

I was over at the Ruby Room enjoying the company of my band mates, chums, and New Zealand visitor, Paul from The Mint Chicks, having an impenetrable good time. And then these guitars punk the shit out me. I’ve heard the sound elsewhere and liked it immediately. There are some formulas to songs that will always get me. So I walk away mid whatever was going on and ask dj another white guy who it is: Shellac. Paul then adds that his drumming was reviewed to be a blend between Shellac and Green Day. Congratulations, hero dick. Anyways, I’m drunk and picture a fucked up spelling to it (an apostrophe in there), so I’m just hoping I will come across the incisiveness again.

The next week, I’m on my second date with art-rapper extraordinaire (I won’t sully his name by mentioning his involvement with me, but seriously, I deserve daps for bagging this one) and he brings up this song he’s digging and how he’s actually excited to see a band, and no shit, it’s Shellac. This whole time I’ve thought I was quarterbackin’ about to spread the good word, but dude (and the other people I’ve spoken about Shellac to) go, “You don’t know Steve Albini?” Turns out I’m a dipshit too late, but happy with a new band (for me) nonetheless.

Steve Albini is the man that everyone else but me knew about. He was in the bands Big Black and Rapeman, now it’s Shellac. Homeboy has engineered huge albums (Nirvana, Pixies, Fugazi, Joanna Newsom, a supposed total of 1500-2000 albums). Therefore if you are doo doo dum as well, there’s a very cool and informative article on him at http://www.soundonsound.com/sos/sep05/articles/albini.htm.

-The Mari

I Feel Cool for Liking Pela First (or at least before you)

I met these guys at the year before last’s SXSW. We were staying at the same commune. None of them tried to have sex with me and they seemed like simple nerds, so I shrugged them off (they opened for The Flaming Lips later that night). Recognizing them on this year’s SXSW roster, I finally gave them a listen. And well, they’re hella good, like quality. Catchy comes across too aggressive and easy, but I’ve gone to their myspace everyday to listen; I like it and look forward to hearing it. As with almost all songs, my mental movies go and a sentimental something occurs, but with Pela there’s something I can relate to, lyrics and vocal accents I can feel romantic about but none of it is mine. Nothing that reminds me of anything from personal experience; it’s something close or coming. They’ve been described as a meaningful “American rock” band. I may be too distant to define American rock, but I can tell their music doesn’t sound like it’s from anywhere else.

Everyone is a music elitist. And I would like to confirm that I am right and good: do you like Pela?

Their album “Anytown Grafitti” came out today (April 24th).
Pela is playing the Bottom of the Hill May 31st. Going with the music and their show reviews (I’ve seen pictures of them sweaty and in panties), it should solid.

Pics: Both are from sxsw 2006. Top pic is of Eric (bass, vocals). To the left is Billy (lead vocals, guitar) sitting by the fire pit. Cowboy hat man is their photographer friend.

-The Mari

Battle of the Bands: A Sucker Step

Sure, these competitions can be fun and have righteous prizes, but after much consideration, I’ve concluded that real bands don’t do them. I’ve got a blossoming punk band (Marauding) and I know that everyone says this, but we really don’t give a shit; I think we are going to start though. And considering the bands that play these battles, I figure we’ve got a solid chance at taking them (especially the battle that goes on at The Metro in Oakland . Ya, that’s right). But I realized that I don’t want to win a record deal, and why the fuck would I compete with other bands for favor, and who the shit is anyone to compare music to music? Serious. If you’re band is good and you’re working hard, your upcomings will come. If not, get the clue and kill yourself or get better.



-The Mari

Part One: Shit Needs to Go Down in SF

Between waking up hung over and being at work wanting to go home and drink, it’s too easy to forget that though we’re living an everyday life, it’s in a city rivaled by only a few other big shots. What? There’s New York, Paris, London, Los Angeles, maybe Tokyo still, but dude, San Francisco is right there; and we god damn get to live here! The Owl Mag party at the Mezzanine was a needed reminder that we should stay organized in order to move forward and bring more attention to what we’ve got going on, especially for our music. Talking House rules for throwing their huge SXSW party and taking all our bands over there (and sponsoring The Owl Party). And there are local showcase events; the Homegrown series was really cool (The Owl is going to do something along those lines, I hope). And I hate to swing from his dick, but Aaron Axelsen is holding shit down, proper. I’m not saying we need to become Tool City (LA), kiss ass and sell out, but maybe a 90’s Seattle scene type thing could be fun. Not to talk shit, but I mean, this year’s Noise Pop pretty much went unnoticed, in the sense that it should have had a lot more anticipation, maybe a break though band or two, or people being sad when it ended and excited to experience next year’s.

So far, I haven’t said jack shit, I’m just blowing smoke. It’s not just a having “our power unite” issue, first, it’s the music and probably listenership, and that’s offset by the way music is prepared and served, and then it all comes down to money. The peanut gallery speaks; so what the hell do you think?

Join me for Part Due: A Lot of Good Music, but Nothing I Really Give a Shit About

- The Mari