Sunday, April 29, 2007

Justin TV kicked out of his own movie


As it read on Saturday's front page of the SF Chronicle, our darling celeb of the moment Justin TV, has run into legal troubles. Of all the places ambigity in the law could appear, it appears from yours truly the trumper, housing codes. Apparently, landlords have decided to null the lease over the fact that there are more than two people residing in the apartment, and that they are running an illigitimate business in the apartment. The first allegation seems legitimate until you look into my own closet and see a family of mice living free rent and no matter what I do I can't get them to leave. Friggin' squaters... Slimy lawyers could debate the second till the cows fall down for all I care.

What I found most interesting is the correlation between real life and the Dreamworks movie that is endorsing this project, DISTURBIA. Here now we have a real life situation where a bunch of kids just wanna have fun in the city and do something cool and the establishment monster comes and poops on the party. Self imposed paranoia insues and pretty soon it's revenge of the nerds out in the streets. What's the message here? Don't ever ever do a deal with Speilberg unless you read the fine print cuz if you're not prepared you're always gonna get a face full of voodoo from Hollywood. Haven't you ever heard of life imitating art? And another thing, don't ever bring a buzzword like "disturbia" to San Francisco cuz it just might be too appropriate. The Bush family might get wind of it and move out here, only to be abhorred at the fact that there are so many waify males that don't color coordinate...and females that wear nothing but camisoles and capri pants.
- Super Grant Inaba
http://www.justin.tv/
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/04/28/BUG8TPH0JS1.DTL
http://www.slashfilm.com/2007/04/12/dreamworks-sells-disturbia-on-justintv/

Roll with the punches.


When I was younger, MTV scared the piss out of me. Some of what I now think are the coolest videos today were ones that were often subject and inspiration of my nightmares. Among others, these include Soundgarden's Black Hole Sun, R.E.M.'s Losing My Religion and Nirvana's Heart-Shaped Box. But one that stands out among the rest is Faith No More's Epic. Not only did it warp my six-year-old little mind, it spawned my most intense and longest-lasting rock and roll crush to none other than Mike Patton.

I love Mike Patton. I love everything he touches. The man can't do any wrong in my book. And since I find myself in a position to try and interview people in this sordid music business, a few months ago, I tried as I might to get him across from me as the subject to many of my burning questions. A few days ago, I officially failed.

I failed, but at least I took it on my feet. When I was told to fuck off, I tried my best to fanangle the interview anyway. I did my best. Corniest thing in the world to say, but that's all that matters. In this business, that's all you've got. Your best. If you are worth your shit, it is usually good enough but never always. Geniuses fail. Virtuosos mess up. Journalists get doors slammed in their faces. It is my rite of passage. At 22 years old, that isn't shabby.

-Briana Hernandez

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

I Feel Cool for Liking Pela First (or at least before you)


I met these guys at the year before last’s SXSW. We were staying at the same commune. None of them tried to have sex with me and they seemed like simple nerds, so I shrugged them off (they opened for The Flaming Lips later that night). Recognizing them on this year’s SXSW roster, I finally gave them a listen. And well, they’re hella good, like quality. Catchy comes across too aggressive and easy, but I’ve gone to their myspace everyday to listen; I like it and look forward to hearing it. As with almost all songs, my mental movies go and a sentimental something occurs, but with Pela there’s something I can relate to, lyrics and vocal accents I can feel romantic about but none of it is mine. Nothing that reminds me of anything from personal experience; it’s something close or coming. They’ve been described as a meaningful “American rock” band. I may be too distant to define American rock, but I can tell their music doesn’t sound like it’s from anywhere else.

Everyone is a music elitist. And I would like to confirm that I am right and good: do you like Pela?

Their album “Anytown Grafitti” came out today (April 24th).
Pela is playing the Bottom of the Hill May 31st. Going with the music and their show reviews (I’ve seen pictures of them sweaty and in panties), it should solid.

Pics: Both are from sxsw 2006. Top pic is of Eric (bass, vocals). To the left is Billy (lead vocals, guitar) sitting by the fire pit. Cowboy hat man is their photographer friend.

-The Mari

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Monday, April 23, 2007

Battle of the Bands: A Sucker Step

Sure, these competitions can be fun and have righteous prizes, but after much consideration, I’ve concluded that real bands don’t do them. I’ve got a blossoming punk band (Marauding) and I know that everyone says this, but we really don’t give a shit; I think we are going to start though. And considering the bands that play these battles, I figure we’ve got a solid chance at taking them (especially the battle that goes on at The Metro in Oakland . Ya, that’s right). But I realized that I don’t want to win a record deal, and why the fuck would I compete with other bands for favor, and who the shit is anyone to compare music to music? Serious. If you’re band is good and you’re working hard, your upcomings will come. If not, get the clue and kill yourself or get better.



-The Mari

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Part One: Shit Needs to Go Down in SF

Between waking up hung over and being at work wanting to go home and drink, it’s too easy to forget that though we’re living an everyday life, it’s in a city rivaled by only a few other big shots. What? There’s New York, Paris, London, Los Angeles, maybe Tokyo still, but dude, San Francisco is right there; and we god damn get to live here! The Owl Mag party at the Mezzanine was a needed reminder that we should stay organized in order to move forward and bring more attention to what we’ve got going on, especially for our music. Talking House rules for throwing their huge SXSW party and taking all our bands over there (and sponsoring The Owl Party). And there are local showcase events; the Homegrown series was really cool (The Owl is going to do something along those lines, I hope). And I hate to swing from his dick, but Aaron Axelsen is holding shit down, proper. I’m not saying we need to become Tool City (LA), kiss ass and sell out, but maybe a 90’s Seattle scene type thing could be fun. Not to talk shit, but I mean, this year’s Noise Pop pretty much went unnoticed, in the sense that it should have had a lot more anticipation, maybe a break though band or two, or people being sad when it ended and excited to experience next year’s.

So far, I haven’t said jack shit, I’m just blowing smoke. It’s not just a having “our power unite” issue, first, it’s the music and probably listenership, and that’s offset by the way music is prepared and served, and then it all comes down to money. The peanut gallery speaks; so what the hell do you think?

Join me for Part Due: A Lot of Good Music, but Nothing I Really Give a Shit About

- The Mari

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New Digital Les Paul - The Gibson HD.6X-PRO



Oh boy, here we go digital.

The new Gibson Les Paul has gone digital. The cutting edge guitar gives you incredible recording control and new effect possibilities. The Gibson HD.6X-PRO
lets you record and apply a different effect to each string separately. At $5,000, this guitar is considered as a sound designer’s dream.
Gibson Guitar has announced the availability of the Gibson HD.6X-Pro Guitar System—the most revolutionary leap forward in guitar manufacturing in more than 70 years. The result of years of research and development, the HD.6X-Pro Guitar System, nicknamed the HD LP, combines incredible Gibson craftsmanship with the latest, groundbreaking digital technology. The result may look like an electric guitar, but the Gibson HD LP is a complete digital audio system that is poised to usher in a new era of music making. With unprecedented technology and innovative development, the Gibson HD.6X-Pro Guitar System is the first guitar of its kind, and represents a dramatic step forward for the instrument. Guitar legend also known as the father of the electric guitar, Les Paul spent time in New York this week to personally autograph this newest innovation from Gibson Guitar. One hundred limited-edition HD LP guitars have been signed by Les Paul, and are available through online dealer Sweetwater. The limited-edition, signed HD.6X-Pro has an MSRP of $7,999 USD. Other unsigned HD.6X-Pro models will also be sold through Sweetwater at an MSRP of $4,999 USD. Numerous artists and musicians from around the world are scheduled to appear and perform with the system. (sweetwater)

- Super Grant Inaba

More info here:
http://www.gibson.com/DigitalGuitarNew/gibsonDigital.html

Anti-Gay Developers making moves to close SOMA's EAGLE TAVERN and HOLE IN THE WALL bar






Here we go again. First it was the How Weird Street Fair. Now its an attack on the Gay Community. I have so much to say on the suburbanization of San Francisco, but I will save your time and just ask you to read the copied letter below and consider attending the community meeting. See you there!

- Super Grant Inaba

******letter from the owners:*********

Dear Friends of SOMA Gay Culture,

Hole In The Wall Saloon has become famous since it opened some thirteen years ago. At the depth of the AIDS epidemic, when gay South of Market seemed to be dying, "The Hole" became a joyous retreat for our community with an accent on art, fun, and music. A thinking man's bar.

Anyway, the building where it lives now is rapidly falling apart. For years we've been looking for a more secure location, and in October of 2006 we bought a suitable property on Folsom Street.

Shortly thereafter, a man named Jim Meko handed us a letter. Allegedly, he had already delivered a copy to the seller's realtor before we bought the property. We'd never seen this letter. It stated that he and the neighborhood did not want another bar in the South of Market area (despite the fact that we had already been here for twelve and a half years). So we held a neighborhood meeting and presented our plans. We assured everyone that we would address all concerns with haste and sincerity. Still, Mr. Jim Meko countered that if he stood at the intersection of 8th
and Folsom streets, he could hear loud music from inside Hole In The Wall on any given night. He stated that The Eagle Tavern, our second establishment (which has been a gay bar for more than twenty-five years now) was a terrible nuisance and that he was constantly annoyed by the commotion from its Sunday community benefits. He finally stood up and exclaimed the following to our new neighbors: "Don't trust these guys! They're bad bar owners!"

This last accusation cut the deepest. We've tried hard over the years to be a positive force in our small corner of the world. We clean and police the streets in front of our establishments. We donate time, money, and energy to charities and clubs that we see making a difference. Most importantly, we respect our employees as human beings with rights. Since the beginning,
we've provided them with health insurance, paid vacations, and a yearly retreat at The Russian River. Despite Mr. Jim Meko's characterization of it as a nuisance, The Eagle Tavern raises tens of thousands of dollars for charities and civic organizations each year. Finally, we can't count how many gay men have sworn they met their life partner at the Hole In The Wall Saloon and consider it a sacred place. We're proud of these things and believe ourselves to be far from "bad bar owners".

We were soon informed that a hearing was being insisted upon by a second neighbor at the urging of Mr. Jim Meko and that others had now been persuaded to oppose the bar's relocation project. We personally called this second neighbor. He had never been to Hole In The Wall. He had been to The Eagle Tavern once.

At this point, the future of the Hole In The Wall looks grim. The floor and foundation are in bad shape. The bar's days are numbered. We can't afford to purchase another building; and in any case something similar to all of this would be the certain outcome. South of Market, in the hands of the small-minded, has slowly turned petty and intolerant. Not only is Hole In The Wall certain to close if we can't re-locate, but the future of The Eagle is in doubt as well. Mr. Jim Meko's main complaints were directed against it, and he sits on the city's Entertainment Commission.

What we're asking for is your spiritual and verbal support. We need testimony from people who know the Hole In The Wall and The Eagle Tavern and consider them important. Please send a short letter directly to

President Dwight Alexander
San Francisco Planning Department
1660 Mission St. 5th Floor
San Francisco, CA 94103

OR SEND AN EMAIL TO CHRIS DALY, DISTRICT SIX
SUPERVISOR, AT
chris.daly@sfgov. org

Your presence and willingness to speak for a minute or two at our hearing on Thursday, May 10th beginning at 1:30 would be of immense help. It will be at City Hall, Room 400. In any event, the destiny of both the Hole In The Wall and The Eagle Tavern are up to their fans now... As is the future and spirit of all of South of Market.

Sincerely,

John Gardiner & Joseph Banks, Proprietors
Hole In The Wall Saloon & The Eagle Tavern
E-mail: info@holeinthewalls aloon.com

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Music rumors revealed.


For those of you who consider yourselves fleshy receptacles of useless trivia, Gavin Edwards’ Is Tiny Dancer Really Elton’s Little John? is essential to your literary repertoire. Virtually every rumor and question concerning pop music that you ever needed answers to is in this book, as well as some you may have never heard of. Did Pink Floyd record an entire album using only household objects? Where did the album Atom Heart Mother get its name? In fact, my favorite selections from this book were about Pink Floyd including an examination of the illustrious Dark Side and The Wizard of Oz mythos.

Furthermore, what is so cool/infuriating about this book is the oh-so-casual written voice of Edwards telling tales of when he sat down and talked to some of MY heroes. A compilation of trivia is one thing, but that combined with professional insight and expertise…grrr! Good book. Read it.

-Briana Hernandez

Just giving in.


I gotta admit one thing: as much as it is my job, my responsibility as a music journalist to be up to speed with what’s new and now and happening in the music world…I suck at it. My mp3 player is a 90s flashback complete with Mr. Big, Guns and Roses and Temple of the mother fucking Dog. I’m a grunge kid, probably will die one. Therefore, every time I find myself investigating the newest big thing, I almost always do so with major apprehension.

Point in case, My Chemical Romance. Everyone has seen the video for Helena and can’t deny the cool factor. Not just the air of Rocky Horror present, more so the sheer breath of something fresh and unseen in the rock spectacle these days was mainly its allure. So I admitted that I loved that song but still couldn’t get over what I still think is a horrendous cover of Under Pressure and also that it was done by a collaboration of two bands that I thought may as well have been the same band. Come on. Gerard Way and Bert McCracken are the same guy. It’s a conspiracy.

But now, with Teenagers, their newest, bratty and cleverly energetic single on the radio every fucking time I turn it on, I am officially swaying in their favor…but it doesn’t mean I need to be happy about it! Welcome to the Black Parade still makes me wanna jab two fingers into my right eye socket.

Moral of the story, I live for when bands do this to me. Like in real life, instant loves are few and far between. Most often, we can only really hope for a band that will make us think, give us time to chew on them and not just work their way into our brains like a tapeworm fueled solely on catchiness. I hate that most of all: songs you can’t stand but can’t stop listening to. What kind of cruel joke is that (I’m looking at you, 30 Seconds to Mars)?



-Briana Hernandez

Friday, April 20, 2007

Japanese Air Sex dethrones Air Guitar as funniest thing ever


Japanese Air Sex

This is way too ridiculous to avoid. Japanese Air Sex. Genius! Oh, and by the way, the US Air Guitar Regionals return to SF's Independent 6/28.

This Just In: Ukrania is the new Burning Man!



I have just received news from the KKKGB that Ukranian terrorists have kidnapped Burning Man senate officials and have forced them at gunpoint to administrate their July 2007 KaZantip.com Beach Party: Raving In The Black Sea event. Apparently unemployment is still high in Ukrania as the festival will take place for over a whole month, from July 21 until August 26, 2007. Try and take that much work off you corporate American droids! Being the naive geocentric North American that I am, I have done investigative reporting and confirmed that there is in fact a real ocean along its borders, but have yet to assess it's proximity to Chernobyl. Be safe, bring flippers and an aqualung.

-Super Grant Inaba
More info here: http://www.kazantip.com/en/category/main/

The Four Wheels of the Apocalypse is here!


And now I have permissified myself to rant. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present, straight from the Midwest, down south (everywhere NASCAR is worshiped, except freakin' California), your chariot to the apocalypse. Drop a carbon footprint that guests will be relishing in for centuries after we have all suffocated on our own toxic flatulence. Passerbys will gasp in horror at your exultant excess and submit to the master of marketing unreality. Folks, this is a top shelf suggestion for prom dates and Hooters conferences. I wonder if this thing has a Mississippi moonshine maker in the trunk for open bar service, or at least a 31 flavors of schnapps menu. I think I saw a deep fryer in the glove box.

-Super Grant Inaba
http://www.bayarearacinglimos.com/

2007/04/13 Owl 2nd Anniversary photos online


In light of the tragic news of fractured skulls, I have decided not to start ranting about how I was not invited to the event, but simply wanted all of you out there to share in what good things we missed. If you were there, drop a comment and let a loner know what happened. And for those looking out for your neighbor when danger strikes, give yourself a pat on the back. Good looking out. Photos by Joshua "Uzi" Uziel.

-Super Grant Inaba
http://www.flickr.com/photos/juziel/sets/72157600080306826/

So not cool: Audrye Sessions Ryan Karazija gets brutally jumped



After our 2-yr b-day bash at the Mezzanine on Friday, Ryan Karazija, lead singer/guitarist of Oakland's Audrye Sessions was brutally attacked and mugged. If not for the goodwill of an unidentified local, Ryan may not have been found in time. Karazija was ambushed from behind and viciously kicked in the face several times. The attack left him unconscious in a pool of blood. Fortunately, he was found and immediately rushed to the hospital, but he suffered a fractured skull, broken nose and lost 3 teeth. After spending some time in the hospital, he is at home recovering, however, he and his bandmates were left with a hefty hospital bill. Not to mention, the injuries will sideline the band for awhile.

More info here: Audyre Sessions

Popscene nabs Amy Winehouse



Good luck seeing Amy Winehouse with the Klaxons at Aaron Axelsen's Popscene on 4/26. For one thing the show is sold out. But even those with a ticket should be skeptical. You never know what the UK diva is gonna do. She's been known to miss a few shows. It's this odd behavior that makes her more popular, that and songs like "You Know I'm No Good." Come to think of it, the song is called "You Know I'm No Good." Let that be a warning.